Anything but gratitude. American Beauty

I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before your die.

First of all, that one second isn t a second at all.

It stretches on forever, like a ocean of time.

For me it was lying on my back at Boy Scout Camp watching falling stars. And yellow leaves from the maple trees that lined our streets. Or my grandmother s hands and the way her skin seemed like peaper. And the first time I saw my cousin Tony s brand-new Firebird.

And Janie, and Janie... and.. Carolyn.

I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happended to me, but its hard to stay mad when there is so much beauty in the world.

Sometimes I feel like i seeing it all at once and its too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that s about to burst.

And then I remember to relax and stop trying to hold on to it.

And then it flows trough me like rain, and I can t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life.

You have no idea what I m talking about, I m sure.

But dont worry....

You will someday